Soul Alchemy Logo
Home Journal Article
Inter-generational Memory

What We Carry Is Not Always Ours

M
Monika Maniesh
Feb 02, 2026
7 min read
1,028 views

Much of what shapes our emotional responses does not begin with us.

Patterns of fear, silence, over-responsibility, restlessness — these often travel quietly across generations, passed down through family systems like an invisible inheritance.

Inter-generational Memory

We do not only inherit genes and features. We inherit emotional responses, survival strategies, unspoken grief, and unresolved conflicts. What could not be processed by one generation often shows up in the next — sometimes as anxiety, sometimes as recurring relationship patterns, sometimes as an inexplicable sense of burden.

This is not metaphor. Research in epigenetics and trauma studies shows that lived experiences — especially overwhelming or unresolved ones — can leave biological markers that affect how stress and emotion are regulated in descendants.

Recognizing What Is Not Ours

Healing begins when we can distinguish between what is ours and what we have inherited. Not every fear we feel originates in our own experience. Not every reaction is a response to our present situation.

Sometimes, what we are carrying belongs to a parent, a grandparent, or someone further back. And recognizing this does not erase the emotion — but it can change our relationship to it.

Releasing Without Blame

This work is not about blaming previous generations. It is about acknowledging what was passed down — often unconsciously, often with love — and choosing whether to continue carrying it forward.

When we recognize a pattern as inherited, we create the possibility of integration rather than repetition. We can honor what was endured without allowing it to define our own lives.

A Practice of Awareness

The question becomes: What am I carrying that is not mine? And what would it feel like to set it down?

This inquiry does not require answers. It requires presence. And sometimes, simply asking the question is enough to begin the process of release.

M

Monika Maniesh

Monika Maniesh is a healing practitioner and the founder of Soul Alchemy with MM. With over two decades of experience in corporate communication and organisational environments, her journey into healing emerged through lived transitions and sustained inquiry. Her work integrates alternative healing practices, mindfulness-based approaches, and an understanding of professional and organisational realities. She is also the author of Cradle of Consciousness.